Why are we so unhappy in the music business? What is it that makes it a virtual prerequesite to be unhappy in order to make it in the music business? How come people keep playing in orchestras, as soloists, or as chamber musicians, teaching or coaching in various capacities, even though they are deeply unhappy? Is our profession so incredibly and irrevocably flawed that profound unhappiness is the first and only option for us that choose to stay on the chosen path?
I wish I had the answer(s) to the questions above. My honest answer is ‘I don’t know’, and my optimistic answer is ‘No, we do have a choice’. All I can speak from is direct experience, and share my observations of colleagues who I know, or have known, well as they struggled with the issue of finding one’s way in a musical career.
I’ve found that there are three basic categories of unhappy people in the music business. First, we have the person who has had a bad time of it early on in life, family issues, health issues, etc. They pretty much have an unhappy existence regardless of what their career choice might have been, but they were very talented musicians, and their career took off. Now, they have come to a pretty sucessful place, but it hasn’t made them any happier. They complain a lot about the crappy stuff that goes on in their ensemble/school/orchestra/studio and it all has to do with how someone else is making the situation horrible – not with their own preexisting condition of being deeply disturbed and unhappy.
Second is the person who was very talented and disciplined, but never really wanted to go into music in the first place. They did it to please their parents, or a teacher, or friends – but not for themselves. They have come to hate music as a result of the fact that they never really had a choice whether to pursue the career or not – they were forced into it, and as a result, the business is crap and everyone in it is crap.
The third type is someone who loved music from the get-go, was very talented, and had the highest hopes for their future. They got to a certain point and for whatever reason, their career levels off. There isn’t a Big Five orchestra job, or a major conservatory teaching position, or A-list solo bookings. They play the C or B level groups, and they’re always dissatisfied with what they’ve got, and want more. They’re so busy thinking about what might have been, or the bad luck that they’ve had, that they forget to enjoy what they are lucky to have, and what others would die to have. They grow bitter and make life miserable for others around them.
What do these three (very common) types have in common? They have failed to make a real choice along the way and now feel powerless. What is a real choice? It is a positive, active decision to take an action. Not acting is not a choice – at least not when it is undertaken passively. We must always be careful in life to understand as best we’re able where we are. What have we done, what are we doing now, and where do we want to go from here. If you’re seriously unhappy, take some time to really explore where that’s coming from. It might not be from a stand partner with b.o. It might be from feeling powerless, rudderless, and hopeless. If your situation really is dire, and it’s not looking to get better soon, why not just make plans for an alternative future? Take some classes, learn some new skills, get some exercise and eat well. If you’re stuck in an orchestra that gives you a paycheck and nothing else, start a string quartet, brass quintet or tango orchestra and do some gigs for a little money, or for free. It will seriously change your outlook. If you hate where you live, the group you play in, and the people you play with, maybe you need to reconsider what you’re doing and ask yourself if you’d be any happier somewhere else. Asking the hard questions of yourself and really searching deep for answers will enable a better sense of perspective and just plain better mental health.
In the end, if you love music, find meaning from within yourself, and give yourself a creative outlet other than music, it’s possible to thrive in almost any environment. Give it a try, and let’s make the stereotype of the sulking, chronically mopey and unhappy artist a thing of the past.
2 replies on “artistic temperament?”
Wow, I work in software and I’d love to be a professional musician (and am considering trying to do so in the future). I can’t imagine it not making me happy. Is it really that large of a percentage of professional musicians that are unhappy?
You’d be surprised. The music itself usually isn’t the problem – it’s coworkers, bosses, politics, finances and the like that make it a profession with much potential for unhappiness. The biggest factor is that we’ve trained to be critical, self-aware and self-sufficient, and it is often that these qualities are thwarted or unnecessary.