The reentry into life after an audition is often a difficult period of transition. One has been so focused upon a goal – often for several months on end – and then in the time it takes the personnel manager to say “thank you” it’s all over. You gather up your stuff and head out of the hall into the real world again, and your brain struggles to catch up to the circumstances. There is a brief period of just treating yourself to some drinks and a nice meal as a consolation prize, maybe meeting up with friends to distract yourself from what just transpired. But on the flight home, and those first several days after returning, are when the critical voices start to make themselves heard. Did I practice properly? Did I practice enough? Did I play for the right people? Should I have taken a lesson with someone, or should I have not taken that lesson? Was I cocky? Did I peak early? Should I have taken beta blockers, or shouldn’t I have? Am I good enough to win anything? Am I too old? These are among the myriad thoughts that can rob one of sleep even when at one’s most exhausted state.
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