{"id":4350,"date":"2010-04-06T12:47:37","date_gmt":"2010-04-06T19:47:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/?p=4350"},"modified":"2013-02-07T20:19:00","modified_gmt":"2013-02-08T04:19:00","slug":"new-use-for-crying-room","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/2010\/04\/06\/new-use-for-crying-room\/","title":{"rendered":"new use for crying room"},"content":{"rendered":"

Bill Eddins, music director of the Edmonton Symphony (and blogger at Inside the Arts’ Sticks and Drones<\/a>) has posted what might be the all-time winner for the most amusing (and somewhat shocking) letter from a symphonic patron ever received (or at least that has seen the public light of day).\u00a0 Here it is, in its entirety:<\/p>\n

\n

As the lone season ticket holder in the Winspear Crying Room, I feel I must pass on my concern about the questionable conduct of my fellow concert patrons.<\/p>\n

Last Saturday evening, I arrived promptly at my usual time of 8:10 pm and took my regular seat in the back row of the crying room, settling in for an evening of Bartok and Stravinsky goodness. What occurred instead has left me traumatized and in need of what will doubtless be many months of recuperative musical therapy.<\/p>\n

As the Haydn began, a couple in their late 50s seated in the row directly in front of me\u00a0began making out, obviously aroused by the sight of Maestro Eddins shaking his sexy money-maker. While poor form for the high standards we have set for the crying room, I ignored them as best I could and tried to focus on the performance. Unfortunately, by the end of the third movement the pair had reached fourth base and I\u2019m afraid to the report that by the end of the Allegro con spirito, the Haydn wasn\u2019t the only thing reaching\u00a0a climax.<\/p>\n

I will never again be able to listen to Symphony No. 88 again without feeling unwell. I may even go blind as a result.<\/p>\n

I insist that the ESO remedy this at once by appointing a chaperone for the crying room, as well as erecting a barrier for the lower half of the conductors podium to prevent other patrons from reaching a fevered pitch of arousal. If this is not possible then perhaps piping the soundtrack to \u201cDebbie Does Dvorak\u201d into the crying room instead of what\u2019s happening on stage may be more appropriate.<\/p>\n

Blind I tells ya.<\/p>\n

Regards,<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n

[link<\/a>]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Bill Eddins, music director of the Edmonton Symphony (and blogger at Inside the Arts’ Sticks and Drones) has posted what might be the all-time winner for the most amusing (and somewhat shocking) letter from a symphonic patron ever received (or at least that has seen the public light of day).\u00a0 Here it is, in its […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":303,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4350","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-the-orchestra-world"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pa8kC-18a","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":508,"url":"https:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/2007\/10\/31\/happy-halloween\/","url_meta":{"origin":4350,"position":0},"title":"happy halloween","author":"Charles Noble","date":"October 31, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"A joke appeared in our in-box today, courtesy of the ever humorous Dorian DeLeon - enjoy! A cabbie picks up a Nun.\u00c2\u00a0 She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.\u00c2\u00a0 She asks him why he is staring.\u00c2\u00a0 He replies: \"I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "miscellaneous"","block_context":{"text":"miscellaneous","link":"https:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/category\/miscellaneous\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1095,"url":"https:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/2008\/09\/04\/antony-and-the-johnsons\/","url_meta":{"origin":4350,"position":1},"title":"antony and the johnsons","author":"Charles Noble","date":"September 4, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Today we begin rehearsals for a special which is presented by the tba festival, featuring Antony and the Johnsons.\u00c2\u00a0 I'm not sure what to expect, but I do know that our audience is going to be very different than that which we have come to expect at a typical OSO\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "contemporary"","block_context":{"text":"contemporary","link":"https:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/category\/music\/contemporary\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2008\/09\/pica.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":6300,"url":"https:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/2011\/05\/05\/they-dont-make-them-like-this-anymore\/","url_meta":{"origin":4350,"position":2},"title":"they don’t make them like this anymore","author":"Charles Noble","date":"May 5, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 \u00a0 And it's a crying shame - I know that there are some phenomenal young violinists out there - and they will continue to grow and evolve as all great artists do - but I miss the elder statesmen of music that were my idols growing up. One of\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "the orchestra world"","block_context":{"text":"the orchestra world","link":"https:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/category\/music\/the-orchestra-world\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/05\/violinspan-599x381.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5555,"url":"https:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/2010\/11\/10\/third-angle-ghost-opera-black-angels\/","url_meta":{"origin":4350,"position":3},"title":"third angle: ghost opera & black angels","author":"Charles Noble","date":"November 10, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Portland's Third Angle New Music Ensemble will be presenting the first concert of its 2010-2011 season on Thursday and Friday evening at PSU's newly-renovated Lincoln Hall Room 75. Music of Tan Dun, Tomas Svoboda and George Crumb will be featured. [link] When: Thursday, November 11, 2010 \u2013 7:30 PM Friday,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "chamber music"","block_context":{"text":"chamber music","link":"https:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/category\/music\/chamber-music\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/11\/3APic3-900x482-400x214.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5215,"url":"https:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/2010\/08\/26\/chamber-music-bliss\/","url_meta":{"origin":4350,"position":4},"title":"chamber music = bliss","author":"Charles Noble","date":"August 26, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Tonight I had the pleasure of playing chamber music (and some of the great pieces in the repertoire, at that) with some of my colleagues from the Oregon Symphony.\u00a0 It was part of the Parties of Note program put on by Friends of the Oregon Symphony (FOS).\u00a0 The music for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "chamber music"","block_context":{"text":"chamber music","link":"https:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/category\/music\/chamber-music\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/08\/41362_1336697231312_1647541977_808542_3392744_n-400x300.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":553,"url":"https:\/\/www.nobleviola.com\/wordpress\/2007\/11\/28\/a-sad-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":4350,"position":5},"title":"a sad time","author":"Charles Noble","date":"November 28, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Postings this week might be a bit spotty because of a recent loss in our family. 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