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on auditioning

Well, it’s been quiet here at the blog for some time, so I thought it might be a good thing to tell you what I’ve been up to.  I went down to Los Angeles this past Sunday to take the audition for the 3rd chair viola position (Assistant principal) of the Los Angeles Philharmonic on Monday.  I didn’t win.  Not even close.  But I played well, and I was in plenty of good company, for this is a plum spot in arguably the best financially positioned orchestra in the world, with a great, iconic performing space, and the hottest young conductor in the world in his first year as music director.

Last week, someone on Twitter tweeted a line from the television program 30 Rock: “An audition is a grotesque carnival of human misery”.  Truer words have never been spoken.  No matter what you do as a performer – playing an instrument, singing, acting, even presenting a visual arts portfolio – being called out onto the stage to play little snippets of music as technically perfect, yet ineffably musical as possible while under the most intense pressures – including money, vanity, reputation, personal neuroses, disappointing your favorite teacher – is one of the most excruciating and unrewarding activities that humans voluntarily deign to undergo.  A couple years ago I auditioned for a similar position with the Seattle Symphony, which you can read here, here, here and here.  I’ll give no similar blow-by-blow this time, I just don’t have it in me.  But I’ve emerged from another fruitless, grotesque carnival with my playing raised to a new level, and with a recital program beginning to form in my mind that I’m very excited to start working towards.  Besides, I love my orchestra, the Oregon Symphony, my first and only real job as a musician, and I have many wonderful colleagues and friends that it would have pained me greatly to leave, so life goes on, and I am content.

Here are a few snapshots that I took during the afternoon after my role in the audition came to an abrupt end:

5 replies on “on auditioning”

i LOVE the LAPhil. i ADORE esa-pekka salonen as composer, conductor and new music champion. i’ve heard that dudamel is flat-out a “conducting animal.”

i grew up in LA and couldn’t wait to get out. the incredible programming of the Phil has nearly prompted me to move back home.

not quite. i REALLY love Portland.

I have mixed feelings about your Los Angeles audition. I am sorry about the result but very glad that you will still be with the Oregon Symphony.

I agree with Curtis. We would miss you and your performing. Bob made another excellent point –– “nearly prompted me to move back home.
…not quite. i REALLY love Portland.”

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