life in flux

I spent an hour at the side of my mom’s hospital bed this evening, talking with her about subjects old and new, and just being with her, fully present. It was a lovely time. Since her health travails have begun, I’ve started to really listen to my deep inner self in ways that I have neither be able nor interested in doing before. I thought about all of the things that I’ve done because I thought that they’d be good for me to do, or they would make others impressed with me, and then I tried to think of the things that I did because I wanted and needed to do them – just for me. It’s not a long list. But those decisions are among the best I’ve made in my life, and have brought me the most lasting happiness.